Everywhere I turn these days I find reminders that I'm living "in between" -- in between Exeter and Indianapolis; Christ Church and St. Paul's; the house I'm trying to sell and the one I've not yet found to buy. I go to church and find that not only do I have less to do, but also I see others working on things that have nothing to do with me. Yes, I'm still the rector, but I'm leaving so I'm becoming increasingly irrelevant here. At the same time, I'm communicating with folks in Indianapolis. No, I'm not the rector there yet, but I'm becoming more relevant there with each passing week. In Exeter, people are starting to move on without me (as they should). In Indianapolis, they are moving forward while I try to catch up.
Really, the whole experience is very odd . . . and a bit unnerving at times.
Living "in between" can certainly raise anxiety. There are all of those unanswered questions. Perhaps it's just me or perhaps it's human nature, but that desire to know how everything is going to work out can be very strong.
So, I was very thankful for a conversation I had a little while ago. I was talking with a member of Christ Church. It was very much an "in between" conversation. We knew it was one of the last times we will talk while I'm here, but it isn't really the last time we will see each other. So, there were some final thoughts expressed at the same time that we could say, "See you on Sunday."
Anyway, in the midst of talking about the transition at Christ Church and my transition, about saying good-bye and how hard this is, he said, "It's all good."
Amen! It's all good. For Christ Church, St. Paul's, and the Densons, there is much to look forward to. Despite all the unanswered questions (and perhaps because of them), living "in between" is good. At least, it's good for people of faith. And I don't mean some sort of blind faith that accepts divine will as if we have no choices. I mean the sort of faith that implicitly trusts that the Lord we follow is one who brings good out of everything. It is the sort of faith that looks for possibilities and finds a sense of adventure in the unanswered questions. It is the sort of faith that accepts that the only way to get where God is calling us is to walk through the "in between."
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things unseen." (Hebrews 11:1)
Nice words for me to remember in this season of life (or any other season, I guess!)
Living "in between." It's all good!
3 comments:
Very well said john. It's an awkward time for us as well, we are happy for your new opportunity, but sad that you are leaving. I have trust in God to know that this change is good for you and your family and I have to put that ahead of my feelings of sadness and can only feel joyful for your new journey. The "In-Between" creates new discussion and new vision. I guys will be truly missed, and I hope that you know that and it will become more & more difficult as we move closer to your departure for us all. It will be all good!
I have to agree very well said. I too am going through some " in-between" changes . Our company lost the contract to timberlane school district. I still have the job that I love so much , however I have been transporting some of these children since they were in boosters , most are entering high School this year. Its a long time, relationships with parents and teachers and aides. However, I see it as another adventure and another way to spread the love to other families with children with autism..a chance to continue this purpose of service. I hope you continue this blog and I wish nothing but the best for your future and your family and your new church family .. John? it is all good ! we will miss your humour and your wonderful stories and sermons ,St Paul is about to recieve a huge blessing....God bless and Peace !
Moving on is very painful in my experience and right now, the feeling is very awkward too. When I think of losing contact with a friend who has been a strong tree in a forest of confusing paths, it causes me to want to grab onto that tree but I know I have to let go. It will be a new adventure for all of you in Indianapolis. I'm trying to block out what it means for all of us for the time being.
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